Bruce likes nerdy talk
by Burnbee
Summary: Tony's always thought Bruce hated dirty talk, but it turns out he just wasn't using the right kind of dirty talk.


Bruce had a special shirt. one that the others had noticed, he didn't wear when Tony was around. (Fe + male) + the gamma radiation symbol, little below it Fe and the symbol were tangled together. it had all the Avengers stumped, especially when the shirt always magically dissapeared when Tony was around. no one was really sure where it had come from either. it had just appeared one day. the others watched Bruce move around the tower, Tony was out for the day, hanging with Rhodey.  
"Bruce?" Phil ask. Bruce looked up.  
"hmm?" Bruce ask.  
"whats that mean?" Phil ask. Bruce looked confused.  
"what?" Bruce ask.  
"your shirt. whats it mean?" Steve ask. Bruce looked down.  
"oh that, it means nothing. just something I found in Tony's closet." Bruce shrugged.  
"I can't think of anything a female plus gamma radiation would be." Clint muttered. Bruce nodded.  
"cause it doesn't mean anything." Bruce replied. they didn't seem to believe him, but went about what they were doing. Bruce headed up to the lab, a blush breaking out on his face. he hated lying to his friends like that, but he really didn't want anyone to know what the shirt meant, thats why he couldn't let Tony see it. it'd only be a matter of minutes before Tony figured it out, though it would be interesting to see how Tony reacted to it. he thought about it a moment before shaking his head. Tony would probably laugh and leave him, and he loved his boyfriend with all his heart so that wouldn't do. he pulled out his phone when it rang. "oh hey Tony." Bruce smiled.  
"isn't it scary?" Tony ask, voice husky. Bruce raised an eye brow.  
"isn't what scary?" Bruce ask.  
"how you were thinking about me and suddenly the phone rings and it's me." Tony replied. Bruce couldn't stop himself from laughing.  
"who says I was thinking about you?" Bruce laughed.  
"thats not funny. I know you were. everyone always thinks of me." Tony said. Bruce could practically hear his smirk.  
"okay, maybe I was thinking about you." Bruce said.  
"oh yeah? what about me?" Tony ask.  
"how bad I'm going to kick your ass for eating jelly doughnuts in the lab and ruining my research." Bruce replied bluntly.  
"hmm, well thats not what I was hoping for. I'll be home in like five minutes. I'll clean it up then. plus you know Jarvis autosaves everything. you can just ask him to print out your research again." Tony said, rolling his eye's. "just ask him to reprint it." Tony added.  
"no how about you reprint it. you're the one who ruined it." Bruce said.  
"fine. I'll do it when I get back, but I want coffee and toast when I get back. I didn't get breakfast before I left." Tony said.  
"you're supposed to spend all day with Rhodey." Bruce questioned.  
"he had military stuff to do." Tony replied.  
"fine. I will go make you coffee and toast. anything else?" Bruce huffed.  
"yeah, one more thing." Tony said.  
"what?" Bruce ask.  
"love you." Tony said, then hung up. Bruce sat, frozen for a moment, then smiled slightly as a light blush ran through his cheeks. Tony didn't say the words often, but thats what made them more special, though he was just saying it at the moment cause Bruce was frustrated at him, it was nice. he shook his head and went down to make the coffee and toast.  
"hey didn't you just eat?" Phil ask.  
"Tony's coming back early and called me to make sure I had coffee and toast ready for him." Bruce muttered. Bruce muttered under his breath. Tony sauntered into the building.  
"is my toast ready?" Tony ask.  
"almost. coffee's in the keurig just push down and start." Bruce replied. he turned around handed Tony the toast.  
"thanks-" Tony said. he paused, looking at Bruce's shirt. "(Fe+male)?" Tony muttered. Bruce's cheeks flaired pink and he headed upstairs to change.  
"so Tony, whats it mean?" Clint ask curiously watching him. Tony frowned a moment, sipping his coffee in thought. he paused, grinning.  
"the capital Fe." Tony muttered. "Bruce you sexy bastard." Tony smirked, chasing after him.  
"capital Fe?" Steve ask. Phil snickered, choking on his coffee a moment. the team looked over at him.  
"oh my god. Fe is Iron. male is man. gamma radiation symbol." Phil explained. it took them a moment, but evetually Natasha and Clint burst into laughed. Steve, however didn't get it, until Phil leaned over and whispered in his head. Steve dropped his drawing book.  
"I'm just going to go live in my room the rest of my life." Steve muttered heading upstairs while the others laughed, watching him go.  
*Bruce*  
Tony smirked walking into their bedroom, arms crossed over his chest.  
"you sneaky bastard, you do like dirty talk." Tony smirked. Bruce's cheeks flaired up again as he faced Tony, still wearing the shirt. "and here I thought you didn't like it." Tony said shaking his head. Bruce shrugged.  
"you were speaking my kind of dirty." Bruce replied.  
"so I see." Tony said. "so science and equations. thats what turns you on?" Tony ask.  
"why do you think I love you? all you are is science and equations, oh and a smart ass mouth." Bruce replied. Tony rolled his eye's.  
"I'm not good with sexy nerdy talk." Tony said. Bruce smirked.  
"well I know a lot of stupid nerdy pick up lines." Bruce replied. Tony raised an eye brow.  
"lay one on me." Tony said.  
"you must be made of Florine, Iodine, and Neon, because you are FINe. heard that one in a bar or two." Bruce said. Tony laughed.  
"that was shit." Tony replied.  
"okay, you give me a better one." Bruce muttered.  
"are you made of copper and tellurium? because your cute." Tony grinned. Bruce shook his head.  
"that was worse then mine." Bruce muttered as Tony walked closer. the genius wrapped his arms around his waist tightly. Bruce rolled his eye's wrapping his own around Tony's neck.  
"well then how about I wish I was an enzyme. cause if I was an enzyme, i'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes." Tony smirked. Bruce smirked back.  
"that ones better, just a little." Bruce muttered, kissing him. Tony smirked and pushed back.  
"well how about my bond length might not be the best, but it can still give you some 'electron density'." Tony smirked. Bruce's cheeks flaired up bright red but he smirked.  
"now thats my kind of dirty talk." Bruce muttered, kissing Tony again. Tony smirked and pushed him down onto the bed.  
"so we've got the dirty talking, how about we do something else dirty?" Tony whispered. Bruce smirked, looking up at Tony.  
"of course, but you know you make so much of a better bottom then I do." Bruce said. Tony laughed.  
"fine if thats how you like it." Tony replied, pulling him down into another kiss. Jarvis took the initiative to dim the lights, lock the bed room door, and warn the others not to come up. they didn't need another repeat of one of them walking in on the two scientists. it'd happened twice already and no one really wanted to experiance that again. after a little bit, the two laid on their bed, sweaty and cuddled together. "that was fun. we should do that again some time." Tony muttered. Bruce rolled his eye's.  
"well technically now you know what turns me on, so." Bruce said. Tony laughed and kissed him, getting up. "where are you going?" Bruce ask.  
"you know Jarvis has warned them." Tony smirked getting dressed. "lets go see how many shades of red Steve can turn in five seconds." Tony added. Bruce laughed getting up and putting his clothes on.  
"that sounds fun." Bruce replied, but he fixed his hair. Tony may not mind looking like he just had hot sex, but Bruce was a little more classy. they headed downstairs, hand in hand, talking idly. as they stepped out of the elevator Tony pulled Bruce over to Clint.  
"you were wrong. I was right. he does like dirty talk. I just had to find the right type of dirty talk. you own me $20." Tony smirked. Clint glared at Bruce, handing Tony a twenty.  
"I hate you." Clint muttered. Bruce chuckled.  
"thats okay. Tony loves me so doesn't really matter who else does." Bruce shrugged. Steve, seeing them, turned away quickly, his face changing shades quickly.  
"hey Steve, where ya going?" Tony ask. Steve ignored him.  
"I counted six shades." Bruce said. Tony laughed.  
"I only caught four." Tony replied.  
"well two of them were minute. had I not been looking for them I wouldn't have seen them." Bruce chuckled.  
"what are you talking about?" Natasha ask.  
"how many shades of red and pink Steve's face turned." Bruce replied. Tony walked over to the coffee pot.  
"I'm a twig, you're a twig, lets rub together and make fire." Tony said. Bruce laughed.  
"so Bruce likes nerdy shit?" Clint ask.  
"thats not nerdy, that one was stupid." Bruce snickered.  
"I need a water bed." Tony said randomly.  
"why?" Bruce ask, sitting on the couch.  
"so we can find our combined volume, by displacing the water in the water bed." Tony said. Bruce rolled his eye's.  
"Tony you're really stupid for a genius." Bruce said. "you're just going to keep throwing those at me until you find a good one aren't you?" Bruce ask.  
"why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?" Tony grinned.  
"he gave me Arsenic Sulfide so I tore that AsS up." Bruce countered. Tony burst into laughter.  
"I dont like this." Clint muttered.  
"you're so hot that you would make a nuclear reactor melt down." Tony said.  
"whars happening here?" Phil ask.  
"Bruce likes nerdy pick up lines, nerdy dirty talk." Clint replied.  
"oh some of the guys in the SHIELD lab were making some of those the other day. I found them entertaining." Phil chuckled.  
"lay one on us." Bruce said, looking over the couch.  
"talk nerdy to us." Tony said.  
"what's the difference between me and a Star Wars laser turret? I never overheat." Phil said, rolling his eye's.  
"thats not nerdy talk. thats stupid talk." Bruce said. "give us a different one."Bruce added.  
"oh! excuse me, you just made my floppy a hard drive." Phil said. Bruce snickered covering his mouth.  
"thats hilarious coming from you." Tony snickered.  
"what say you take the red pill and I show you how far your rabbit hole goes?" Bruce smirked.  
"oh my god this is great." Clint snicker.  
"come on, I'm sure you guys have some dirty pick up lines too." Tony said, waiving them in.  
"oh I was undercover and heard a few of them like, I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on." Natasha said.  
"my beds broken, can I use yours?" Clint laughed.  
"this is what the Avengers really do when we're not fighting crime." Tony laughed.  
"hey, what's your name? I need to know what I'll be screaming tonight." Phil said.  
"you need to use these on Steve. he'd die." Bruce laughed.  
"no I'm good." Phil chuckled.  
"hey, whats your shirt made out of, boyfriend material?" Natasha snickered.  
"I'm not wearing any socks, and I have the underwear to match." Tony said.  
"thats actually true at the moment." Bruce commented. they laughed as Tony plopped himself on to Bruce's lap.  
"you're the opposite of my homework in high school. How? I actually want to do you all night long." Clint laughed.  
"want to make a porno? we don't have to tape it." Tony said. they all laughed and continued telling dirty pick up lines. Tony making sure to remember the ones that Bruce appeared to like. intending on using them the next time they had sex.


End file.
